Let me guess, the reason you couldn’t turn in your research paper has something to do with swine flu, right?
Get ready folks, because the newest “fear du jour” has arrived. Replacing Mad-Cow, Anthrax, the Hanta Virus, the Plague, Alien Invasion, and Accidental Snuggies Suffocation (more commonly known as A.S.S.) is … SWINE FLU!!!
A few tips to survive what will surely be a media panic of epic proportions:
1) Buy a mask. I don’t care what kind. The more extreme the better. Here are some examples:
Or how about this one …
2) Panic. I know you’ve been told to stay calm in an emergency, but has that ever worked in the past? So let’s go crazy. Sell your stocks. Move to Canada.
3) Read Patient Zero. Trust me, Swine Flu is better than a Zombie pandemic.