Aug 28 2008

Tattoo

Just in case any of you were under the mistaken impression that I’m cooler than I actually am, here’s a little story that last blog post reminded me of:

As an undergraduate, my friends (and believe me, I use the plural of this word very, very loosely. I had one friend, and he had another friend that hated my guts. I wasn’t too fond of him, either, but I still counted him as a friend because it’s humiliating to say, when what your weekend plans are, “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just hang with my friend.”) and I decided to form a gang. To be precise, a Grammar Gang.

We weren’t organized enough to come up with a mission statement, and we never held any meetings. The one thing we did do was decide to get tattoos.

My friend decided he would get a schwa:
Schwa!
His reasoning: “It’s upside down. That’s AWESOME!”

My friend’s friend… well, I forgot what he decided to get. But he was a total jackass, so it doesn’t really matter.

I had a difficult time deciding between the semicolon:

;

Or the classic expression of surprise and amusement, the exclamation point within parentheses:

(!)

I went back and forth for what seemed like weeks, until we each privately decided that getting a tattoo would be far too painful, and that being in a gang really wasn’t working out.

In the years since, I finally did make up my mind. I’d get both tattoos. As soon as I get over my fear of pain.


Aug 26 2008

My fascinating adventures in upgrading

This has been a pretty good summer for submissions to Building 45. Which, I have to admit, is surprising. I didn’t think the submissions would be coming in until at least second week of fall term, but we’ve already got 26 of them (!).

On the one hand, I’m absolutely thrilled that you writers out there got your acts together and submitted early and often.

On the other hand, it means my extended vacation from managing editor duties is now officially over.

However! Since at this point in the summer I’m about five times as dedicated to procrastination as any student I’ve ever met, I decided to ease into things by upgrading the various WordPress installations we use behind the scenes at Building 45.

You whippersnappers out there may not realize this, but in the olden days of yore, upgrading a single WordPress installation could take upwards of an hour… and upgrading four installations, well, that was a solid day’s “work.” (And by “work,” I obviously mean “checking MySpace and eBay for four hours while occasionally clicking the “Next” button on the installer and waiting for files to download and upload. And yes, those were all billable hours.)

These days, WordPress has a fancy “Automatic Upgrade” plug-in, which means I just spent 15 whole minutes doing everything that needed to be done.

I just wasted ten more minutes blogging about the process… and now I’ve got nothing. I could check my FaceBook profile and pretend that my computer is doing something productive in the background, but I’m kind of out of practice at that sort of self-deception. So I guess it’s time to get to work.

Stupid efficiency-boosting technological advances…


Aug 20 2008

Textbooks for Advanced Screenwriting, Part I

Here it is, August 20. That’s about twenty days after the deadline I’d set for myself to choose a textbook for WR263: Advanced Screenwriting (which will debut spring term). If you haven’t already guessed, that deadline has come and gone without me finding something suitable.

Picking a textbook is always an arduous process. We’re asking students to shell out good money for a book, and we want to make sure that they’re actually getting their money’s worth. Ideally, a textbook for a creative writing class is something the student would want to keep, something they can continue referring back to even after they’ve left the class… or after they’ve left the college.

I couldn’t be happier with the textbooks I use in Intro Fiction (Schoen’s The Truth About Fiction) and Intro Screenwriting (Schwartz’s How to Write: A Screenplay). They’re clear, they’re direct, and most importantly, they have a healthy sense of humor about the whole thing. Sure, Schwartz’s book gets ridiculously cheesy at points, but both of those authors sincerely believe that the creative writing process is a lot of fun and worth the effort.

Now, in second-term creative writing courses (we call them “advanced” here at Chemeketa, but that word should really be reserved for upper-division university courses), I’d like to use a book that delves a little deeper and presents a more sophisticated analysis of the process. Why do we make the choices we make when we’re writing, and how can we figure out if there are paths out there we’re not following? How can we know that each component of a story is working to serve the greater purpose of the narrative?

Basically, I want a book that presents a few interesting ideas that we can mull over for ten weeks. Whether we end up agreeing or disagreeing, in thinking about those ideas we’ll be able to learn a little bit more about the way each of us writes. And that’s my primary goal in a creative writing class.

Unfortunately, the problem with most screenwriting books out there is that they present maybe one interesting idea, and then they charge you $30 for that one idea plus 200 pages of filler. Then there are those select few screenwriting books written by people who wish they weren’t hacks, filled with rambling intellectual justifications of their chosen field drawn from the past three decades of literary critical thinking. Those books are filled with ideas that might be worthwhile to discuss… if you could get past the massively pretentious egotism of the author’s writing style.

There’s only room for one pretentious egotist around here, and I’m already filling that bill. Too bad, Robert McKee.

Speaking of Robert McKee, if you want to read more about him, I’d suggest starting here. It’s the best thing I’ve ever read about him. It helps that I don’t read Spanish.

Naw, I’m giving him too hard a time. His book is actually one of the better ones I’ve read. But it’s not $35 good.

So the search continues. I just started Writing Short Films by Linda Cowgill, which looks promising and comes highly recommended… so keep your fingers crossed for me.


Aug 11 2008

One month until BURN AFTER READING

The Coen brothers’ new film, Burn After Reading, is due out on September 11.

You can see the trailer here.

You might as well go watch the trailer, because I have absolutely nothing of substance to say about the film at present. When you’re done, you can come back here and read the rest of this post.

Done? That was good, right? Brad Pitt playing his patented “half-crazy/half-dumb” character, John Malkovich playing an easily annoyed bad guy, George Clooney playing a lummox, Frances McDormand playing a desperate housewife, and even that one dude from the classic TV show Sledge Hammer. It’s nice to see he’s still getting work.

I’ve loved the Coen brothers ever since I saw Barton Fink at the one lonely run-down “art films” theater we had in Fresno, California at the time. I walked into the theater with absolutely no expectations (well, apart from expecting the seats to be uncomfortable–and that expectation was easily met) and walked out with an image of XXXX XXXXXXX bellowing XXXX the XXXXX of a XXXXXXX XXXXXXX burned forever on my brain. [See note.]

Since then, I’ve made a policy of never reading about upcoming Coen brothers projects. When I walk into the theater in September, I want to go in with as little information as possible, with an absolutely open mind. No reviews. No plot summaries. No gossip from the set. No promotional interviews. Nothing. I don’t even want to know what actors are involved (you’ll notice I’ve failed in that regard).

In the past, this has always been pretty easy to accomplish. The Coens are never very forthcoming about their projects, so the few articles written about their films were imminently avoidable.

It’s going to be a different story for this film. I’m in the middle of developing this year’s FA256: The Great Directors course, which focuses on the Coen brothers, and I’m reading every article I can find on the Internet. I’ve been lucky so far, but I don’t see that luck continuing in the next few weeks as the promotional blitz begins. Thanks to the success of No Country For Old Men, this film is going to get a lot of attention.

NOTE: Shortly after typing this, I realized that I was doing to you, reader, the very thing I’m trying to avoid. For those of you who’ve seen Barton Fink, well, maybe you can figure it out. For those of you who haven’t seen Barton Fink, please see the gratuitous product placement below.

Advertisement: The Chemeketa Film Arts course focusing on the films of the Coen brothers is due out on January 5. That’s five short months away, folks!


Aug 8 2008

A Mention in the Statesman Journal

For those of you who missed the Books section in the Sunday, June 22 edition of the Statesman Journal (or for those of you who didn’t miss it but want to relive the magic of the experience), the Building 45 write-up featuring an interview with me, the World’s Most Famous Managing Editor of an Online Community College Literary Journal, is available online at the NW BiblioBlog.

And yes, I meant to post about this way back in June, but… I didn’t.


Aug 5 2008

I thought I was done until next Tuesday

But then I hopped over to Laura’s Faculty Blog to see what she had to say, and noticed that her blog has the pretty theme with the fall leaves and that my blog has the Rise of The Apocalyptic Turquoise Machines theme. [NOTE: Not the actual name of the theme.]

Then I checked out Peter’s Civic Engagement blog, which has a streamlined Red, White, and Blue theme going on (and, appropriately enough for a non-partisan political blog, a header in which the red and blue merge into purple).

What were the criteria for assigning themes to these faculty blogs? I’m thinking that perhaps it was related in some way to our personalities… which means that someone out there, when he or she thinks of me, thinks of mechanical turquoise monsters working ceaselessly to blot out the sun and destroy life as we know it.

Which is precisely the image I want to project. Kudos, webmasters!


Aug 5 2008

Film Arts 255, Fall 2008: A Correction

I’m incredibly pleased to end my summer blogging hiatus in order to bring you the following correction:

On page 25 of the brand new Fall Schedule of Classes, you’ll see a fine blurb about Film Arts 255: Understanding Movies. Almost everything in that blurb is correct… except for the fact that we’ll only be offering ONE day section (MWF 12:30-1:20, CRN 32237).

We now return to our previously scheduled blog silence.

Coming Soon: fascinating insights into my continuing work on this year’s courses in Film Arts, Advanced Screenwriting, and themed WR121s… plus a heaping helping of Building 45 promotion.

Now THAT sounds exciting. If I were you, I’d bookmark this blog and hit refresh every five minutes for the next two weeks.